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Meryke: "We have insufficient Tadcasters per meter to go inside."
ir:"... TPM?"
Meryke: "Yeah! TPM! [to Siobhan] It's a gravity thing."
"Yeah, zombies fall more gracefully than grouse, so he hunts them instead." - Melchior
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Lissa: "I do it to myself."
Table: [groan]
Berrick: [facepalm]
Lissa: "What? What did I say? Oooh."
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"Tea and waffles... Sounds like breakfast." - Corinna
"Come closer, I need to reach your nipples." - Lissa
"No, in the woods, he's more a Sasquatch than a Wampa." - Andre
"You are the wood monkey. I am the monkey holder." - Andre
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"The floors are slippery, but my butt is not." - Molly
"It has a labia effect?" - Marion
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"Mmmm... smells like new virtue." - Quotes from Pennsic XXXVII
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Dr. Tiki: "I'd like to teabag a monkey."
Off-camera voice: "Well that makes two of us."
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"If I didn't know better, one might think you two didn't take interfenestral monkey pentration seriously." - Bucky Katt
"I eat before I pump." - Jane
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"I have to scratch you, you need to come." - Lissa
"Griff, stay away from my nipples." - Istvan
"Oh, God, his pants. Oh, man." - Lillia
"No, not really. We just had someone pass a lion." - Istvan
"Feel this. That's me. - Collin
"Garden Party Barbie and the Fresh Minty B*itches?" - ir
"But her breasts are bouyant, and they're only 30." - Izzy
"She would sleep with Istvan, with saffron?" - Bruni
"So grow them, ya lazy cow." - Izzy
"I have sticky money,and it didn't come from a g-string." - Izzy
Lillia: "What? We deflowered the East?"
Istvan [sheepishly]: "That was me. Sorry."
"I'm supposed to be helping cut stuff up with a knife in the morning." - Julianna
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"I was scared into ovulation!!!" - Izzy
Griff: "I may grope you, but keep my hands off the camera?"
Marion: "Correct. No, wait."
"Shall I lick her and see if she tastes good?" - Lissa
"Don't stroke it too much, it might not grow back!" - Diana
"Do not hit the Thomas. I will lick you in unpleasant ways." - delbroc
"You feed us pork, and crazy s$^& happens." - Meryke
"Mommy, is Daddy your Wesley?" - Meaghan
"This movie, it has pork in it!" - Lissa
"Excuse me while I pop this in my mouth." - Siobhan
"Are you singing Frosty the Yakuza?" - Marion
"Welcome to the Anne Frank suite." - Meryke
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"Honey? I'm not, but I'd like to be accustomed to this." - Griff, as Annys
"Do you know what that does to grout?" - Meryke
"I don't know if you said it, but you had it." - Griff
"B'donk... a donk." - ir
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"I'm good at service... to the kingdom too." - Bruni
"Yeah, I'm this close to being gay, so I get away with it." - Andre
"Lissa, if they do it to you, they have to do it to me first!" - Iseault
"I've been pulling head all day." - Lorenzo
"Oh look! It's the rapier's community's answer to Bevis and Butthead." - HRH Darius, about griff and colin
Collin: "Alain will hit on anything, even dead animals on the side of the road."
Kat: "Only if they're female."
"When he slaps you with it, its a spontaneous knighting." - Griff
Collin: "He'll be back in ten seconds, that's how long it will take."
Siobhan: "Will he need to get milk?"
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"Just consider me a fat ninja. You're not going to see me coming when I'm really doing it." - Collin
"It was cubically inappropriate." - ir
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I didn't know my brain would have to do chin-ups." - Jane
"I lost a shirt once... no clue how that happened. I blame alcohol." - Bruni
"The problem isn't with your waist, it's with your boobs." - Molly, to Annys
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Collin: "Don't make come over there and spank you!"
Lissa: "I'd like to see you try."
Berric, to Collin: "Well, shoot. I can't stop you now, she said she'd like to see it."
"I have really big hands, and there's still room for both of yours." - Griff
Lissa: "Yay! Lillia goes up a size!"
Griff: "Honk!"
Lillia: "Ding!"
"Frenchie, the Decorative Frog." - Griff
"You don't want to show your dad your teal." - ir
"They do it because they care. Or at least, that's what I tell myself." - Lissa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Best emover evar." - delbroc
Griff:"Congratulations. You two have retained your whiteness."
Siobhan: "All I'm missing now is the overbite."
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"May-be it's already dead." - ir & Annys, in unison
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"We have found the pickle." - Annys
"If you haven't licked it yet, it's not yours." - Andre
"I totally need an Andre hotdog." - Andre
"You're now Andre. Grow a ponytail." - Davius
"I don't drink evil." - Andre
"Drinking for damage." - Corinna
"Yeah, we are so totally emo." - Bruni
Lillia: "Andre? No tattoos."
Bruno: "Unless it's a golden retriever on your left nipple."
"There's nothing like objectifcation to make the evening go faster." - Corinna
"Ah ha! It's a door!" - Andre
"Berrick, your wife is doing REALLY well on drums." - Iseault
"It went mint, mint, chocolate, chocolate, STRAWBERRY!" - Thomas
Thomas [referring to old Irish Cream]: "No, it wasn't chunky at all."
Kat: "It was only microscopically chunky."
"Naughty Women's Day!" - Siobhan
"Tequila and I are friends." - Vi
"A straw? Awww, it's so happy." - Siobhan
"Drink your phallic drink, dammit!" - Marion
"My face is leaking." - Thomas
"As long as it doesn't turn into a hurlpedo." - Meryke
Marion: "Not liquid *ss?"
Meryke: "No, not even *ss adjacent."
"He's got Down's, but only on the inside." - Marion
"Shivaun is like a little drunk lemur." - Marion
Meryke: "...but when you wake up, you feel like, 'Ahh...'”
Kat: "...with a marriage license clutched in your fist..."
Thomas: "...saying, 'Who's Chuck?'”
"You can't properly blow something with fish lips." - Kat
"Drink up! Buckets for everybody!" - Marion
"Smells like a urinal cake." - Marion
"I'll take 'Things Not to Put in My Gooch' for $1,000, Alex.” - Meryke
"I've had worse things in my mouth than minty gooch." - Bruni
"You know, there are times when it's really bad to have a really good imagination." - Davius
"Albert Einstein's scrotum can bring a conversation to a screeching halt." - Group consensus
"Flying squirrel with an Altoid." - Meryke
"As euphemisms go that one didn't sound better." - Kat
"Our conversation is like the Yodeling dude on The Price Is Right." - Davius
"That's the ultimate double Houdini. TA DA!" - Thomas
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"The radar on that side of my head said, "Oh! There's tongue! THERE'S TONGUE!" - ir
"And oh! Does Lissa do it right. ... Hm. 'Sexually inappropriate comment about Lissa, not made by Griff.'" - ir
Davius' brother:"So...which one's Lissa?"
Davius: "B's wife."
Bruno: "The one in Vegas."
Davius' brother: "Oh, Vegas. That Lissa."
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"Oh, I get it. It's 'cause I'm Meridian, isn't it." - Davius
"Clench into it." - Lissa
Lorcan: "...and I haven't flamed in years."
Griff: "Um. Have you met you?"
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Collin: "I thought you said I had fruit in my beard."
Griff: "I don't know you, but you're closest... could you hit him?"
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"That sounds tasty." - Bruno
"Dude... you were so close to death just then. If that fry had fallen and gotten ketchup on Bruni..." - Meryke
"That sounds tasty." - Bruno
Melchior: "Basically, the toccata part is just to show off the big honkin' organ."
Everyone else:
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"That sounds tasty." - Bruno
"Fence, Forrest! Fence!" - Meryke
Griff: "Birthday honk!"
Lillia: "Hey!"
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"I'm a freakin' gift basket." - Lissa
"I think Bruni would agree you're a gift basket." - Althea
"I wanna go case of shorties, so I'm gonna bring out Berric and Meryke." - Lillia
"It's all fun and games until Annys brings out the F-bomb." - Lillia
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"Take a beating out of Petty Cash, would you?" - Grainne
"I'm hot and sweaty, hon. Let's go home." - Marion
"Put the knife down, it's been buttered." - Andre
"That's a good eyeball fork." - Melchior
"Table lemmings?" - Berric
"There are hard lessons in life; grapefruit isn't one of them." - Meryke
"I have two words for you. The first one is 'keel.' I'll let you guess the second." - Griff
"Hey! I can use that for my mitre dance!" - ir
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"Syphilitic? Syphilitic third nipple?" - Griff
"I'm going to go handle my suck." - Jane
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"That's because I pee everywhere." - Lissa
"Doom. It's the new black." - Corinna
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"Your thoughts are going straight to my brain ... I don't understand, but it scares me." - Lissa, to Bruni
"The man is the chemical spill of the pepper world." - Melchior
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"I like dangly - wait." - Lillia
"I'm not sure I want to be a surrogate Griff." - Collin
"Precious Moments... I don't think they make a figurine for that." - Lissa
"I don't want full frontal fries!" - Lissa
"I want a bulging waffle." - What was heard
"Is that table sausage?" - Siobhan
"Hey! Watch where you're putting that nom nom nom." - Meryke
"Hey, it could be worse. We could have chronic narcissistic squint!" - Meryke
"He has future booze." - Lillia
"I learned how to say 'f-you' in sign language today!" - Siobhan
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"It's as if my brain's expecting the soft, doughy version of me." - ir
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"I'm gonna get the bottle now, aren't I?" - Lissa
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ir: [striking Captain Morgan pose] "My name is MORGAN!"
Melchior: "Excuse me while I invade Panama."
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"It's a pig. It'll have fat on it." - World Cafe waiter
Paul and Storm: "You all are totally lookin' at our *sses."
ir (to person in front of him): "I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for the serendipitous placement of your head."
Duncan: "I think you misunderstood when he said his claim to fame was that shirt – he didn't mean he bought it, he made it."
Rachel: "Ah. ... Oh!"
"I'd like to point out that we're getting married indoors." - Berrick
"Ok. Underwear? Best. Song. EVAR." - ir
[Note: The Paul & Storm song in question is sung as if it were a
duet between Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello, accompanied by John
Popper - but the only word in the song is 'underwear.' It's made of
awesome in a completely childish way.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I just need somthing to dry up my lickin'." - Becca
Molly: "I do girls, too."
ir: [Chokes]
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"It's two syllables: fuh - kehr." - Bruni
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"You have to understand, my whole life is just coming up with uses for drinking birds. ... I've never owned one." - Griff
"Your butter is a filthy whore diet truck?" - Bruno
"Apprently, she hasn't had sex with a Chinese man since high school." - Griff
"He takes the short camel to drum class." - Siobhan
"This tastes like a teamster." - Meryke
"Because all garbage stops with Bruno." - Collin
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"Tadcaster: We're years away from a vaccine." - deCastellan
"Tadcaster: There is no cure, so please, give generously." - Alexandre
"Prehensile boobs with teeth... bad..." - Alexandre
"I do not have prehensile boobs!" - Kat
"I'm already on the list of strange uses for ermine." - ir
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"No, those are Russian snipers. They won't hurt us." - Kovey
"Last time we played, I just got bored and quit. So you did win." - Kovey
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"For a '68 Shelby, I'd take a shot in the mouth." - Bruno
"While you're back there, could you see if you can find his self-esteem?" - Meryke
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"If I stand still, I get crop cricles." - Meryke
"It makes the burney less." - Lissa
"She's a little freak job, isn't she?" - Melchior
"Aaaand I'm going to pee on your car." - Meryke
"Psssht!" - Violet
Lissa: "You better give me that bowl!"
Collin: "Do you hear the demands from the hobbit?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[muffled] "I am texting you from inside a uterus." - Meryke
"'I'll be in my bunk, shanking the poor.'" - ir
"If there was a real fire, I would blow the f-ing window." - Bruni
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"Bow-chicka-bow-smush." - Lissa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'd rather not so many of you feel me up!" - quotes from K&Q Rapier
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ian, we learned something: you can't void water." - Lissa
"Theoretically, eventually I would feel bad about that." - ir
"Yes! They spitted and roasted an entire land tuna." - ir
"If you lick the bottom of the glass, I bet she'll marry you." - Collin
Collin: "I thought, 'She's gonna use a whole *box*? Boy, she's busy!'"
Bruni: "I was working."
"I've been massively double-dipping... but here!" - Lissa